A good night out is more than just the music, it’s about feeling a connection with the people you’re partying with. There’s a super important social aspect and often the people you meet on nights out can find a way into your life that you’d have never expected.
In saying that, there are definitely a bunch of people that you try your best to avoid. These punters often find a way to put a damper on your night and despite what is often their best attempt, they just miss the mark. Here is our very serious guide to the worst people on a night out.
1. The ‘Warm-Up Headline’ DJ
Everyone’s got to start somewhere, but this guy doesn’t realise he’s just started. Rockin’ into the club asking for drink cards before they say hello. They’ll make sure to tell you that THEY’RE the DJ. They’ll then proceed to play an hour long set to nobody because the 30 people that were there aren’t vibing his bigroom house pre-recorded set. (Learn to read a crowd, kids.) You try your best not to hold it against them because like we said, everybody’s got to start somewhere. Hopefully this guy will grow into someone remotely tolerable, until then step away from the drink cards and practice your craft.
2. Super Fan
You’re never quite sure if you like this one or not. They’re the super excited punter, right up the front of the gig, set, venue or right next to the speaker. You like their enthusiasm, their knowledge their general passion. But the issue comes when they don’t have time to get a drink, and they won’t leave your ear with miscellaneous tidbits about the headliner that nobody’s even heard of.
Constantly treading the line between your best friend and your worst nightmare. They’re always overly ecstatic to see you which is great, especially if you’re in need of a hug. Until you realise that hug is a sweaty mess and your clean white shirt (what were you thinking wearing that to the club?) is covered in beer. Not to worry though! Because they’ll buy you another beer, take you to the dancefloor and introduce you to all their friends. Which would be great, if you weren’t trying to have a super chill one or you weren’t in the mood to have that hour long existential conversation about life and why they get munted in the first place. There is no single personality in nightlife who is as polarising as the munter with their ability to simultaneously be the best and the worst. Have fun with this guy, just be careful you don’t end up with a bit of vomit on your new shoes.
4. Social Photographer
The biggest problem with the social photographer is their seeming inability to exist in the moment. We’re not going to say no to a happy snap or two throughout the night, but this person takes it upon themselves to make completely document the night. That includes 20 blurry snap-stories (who even uses Snapchat anymore?) 15 separate selfies of separate stages throughout the night (different friends in each, obviously).
5. The Sonic Hipster
The musical hipster isn’t just any form of hipster, it’s nightlife’s very own interpretation. As per the usual hipster, they’re the person who rocked up just to diss the party. It doesn’t matter whether the artist is underground, over ground or literally never released a tune or a played a set anywhere. Similar to the super fan they were ‘listening to them before they were cool.’ You want to tell these flogs to get out of the joint, but at the end of the day they’ve usually got enough bucks to grab a couple of craft beers and we’re all trying our best to keep the nightlife economy afloat.
6. The DJ’s ‘Friend’
This is the person who knows absolutely nothing about what’s happening, the music, the people or anything. They loosely saw a friend they went to high school a few years ago was playing a support slot and figured they’d cruise along to tell everyone they know the DJ. Don’t get us wrong, they know the DJ, but whether they’ve spoken to them in the last 6 years is a completely different question.
7. The Music Blogger
Always talking about the next big thing, this person is probably the WORST person you’ll meet on a night out. They won’t leave your ear, spouting jargon that doesn’t make any sense. ‘This guy’s the next, Flume, Mall Grab, Skrillex, Diplo, Daft Punk‘ There’s always a likeness to be made to someone that barely exists and a comment to be made about a shitty interview that they had. On top of that they’ll definitely tell you they didn’t pay to get in, ‘Oh yeah, I came because I was on the guesty‘ We get it, you’re a big deal, now sit back and let me enjoy the show.
These were our picks for people who we try to avoid on a night out, have we missed any? Tell us what you think below!