Tuesday, March 4th will go down in history as the day event aftermovies reached their pinnacle, this rocked that pinnacle in the face, and raised a pirate flag over it’s competitors.  Dropped nonchalantly into the interwebs, the Holy Ship 2014 official recap is a FOMO torpedo with one target: you.  Captained by the legendary Gary Richards (and directed by Agata Alexander), the video below resurrects lasts January’s revelry play by play.

The six minutes and thirty one seconds of transcendental, water-bound debauchery features a well stocked crew of #shipfam and the usual animals.  Take note of the multitude of booty, masked luchadores, Belvedere titties (thanks Gary), rubber ducky limbo, bud light cell phones, hungry sharks, human tree monkeys, and a perfect slow motion twerk to DJ ratio.  There is no land where you can find events like Tiesto butt signing, Laidback Luke instructed martial arts, and Pharrel’s Hat Meet n’ Greets.  Instead, we’re forced to take to the sea on the MSC Divina: a vessel of the wild, a tanker of the tanked, and the new home of the holiest of the unholy.  It’s Holy Ship.

I think there’s something spiritual in the mix of sloppy stress release and musical magic, but I can’t quite put my finger on it.  Somewhere between Fight Club and Playboy’s Grotto, there’s just one rule.  Respect the ship and forget everything else.

In tandem with the hype video, the Hard crew have announced how you can get on next years boat. With two weekends in 2015, there’s lots more room on this party ship. Returning #shipfam get a priority chance to relive the madness as cabins open on March 10th. New ravers looking to hit the magical islands can secure their spot on March 12. Prebook your musical afterlife here.