As if we needed another legislation to come in and pull the hypothetical master plug on our party culture, new state laws from (where else but,) Queensland are bringing down the hammer on ‘out-of-control’ parties.
With the penalties being as harsh as twelve months jail time or $12,100 in fines – up to $18,500 for those which perpetuate police aggravated behaviour, the warning’s out to party goers to keep good times limited to the aggressive monopoly level.
But what exactly defines an out-of-control party, pray tell? QLD government defines it as a gathering involving ’12 or more people’ in which at least three are involved in ‘unacceptable’ behaviours.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, by this standard, bingo night at my nan’s old folks home could be a jail able offence (put your leg back on, Jasper….). This seems like an alarmingly small amount of merriment for police intervention, not to mention the troubling ambiguity of the word ‘unacceptable’ – if I accidentally get fingered in a game of twister, am I in trouble with da feds?
The laws follow outrage over an incident in which two police officers suffered head injuries after being attacked with bricks when trying to break up a house party in Queensland suburb Acacia Ridge last year. Luckily neither of the officers died in the assault, and this is obviously a massive display of fuckheadedness on behalf of a few asshole-y perpetrators. But the media panic and legal amendments also draws particular parallels to the cases of notorious douche-sockets Shaun McNeil and Keiran Loveridge. Shit behaviour of a few resulting in unreasonable laws for a majority. Nice.
In perhaps the most confirming of overstepped police powers and least emotionally encouraging statement ever, QLD Police Ian Stewart told the Courier Mail;
“The new legislation gives police the power to make directions or take steps reasonably necessary to effectively respond to ‘out-of-control’ events and includes the provision for a person convicted of a relevant offence to pay all or some of the costs incurred by police.’
Stirring stuff. The Courier Mail also makes a specific point of overusing the phrase ‘out-of-control’ and even uses the collective ‘youths’ do describe the delinquents that make up half the population. Cheers media.
With the legislation set to be a shoe-in (we officially find out at the end of this week), looks like house parties in QLD will soon be a thing of the past. Joining us here in NSW and WA on the lame side of legalities, we can all hold hands and sing ‘Kumbaya’ as we are forcibly birthed into the nanny state. Then we can all cringe, suck up our pride, and go party in Victoria.
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
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