The FBI’s Description Of A ‘Rave’ Is Hectic And Hilarious

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The FBI’s Description Of A ‘Rave’ Is Hectic And Hilarious

Shit, what’s going on at American raves?! While I was doing my daily browse of the interwebs, I came across an article on the FBI’s website dramatically titled “Tips for Parents: The Truth About Club Drugs”, talking about the extremely sensationalised and evil ‘Rave Party’.

The US government organisation paints a very grim picture of a rave. Kind of make it sound like Guantanomo Bay or something. Ironic huh?:

“Because some club drugs are colorless, odorless, and tasteless, they can be added without detection to beverages by individuals who want to intoxicate or sedate others in order to commit sexual assaults.”

And OF COURSE the “evil” rave promoter, out to sap everyone of all their moneys. Not be apart of something that’s existed for decades. Just to make money… That’s why people keep going to raves – to be taken advantage of:

“Rave promoters capitalize on the effects of club drugs. Bottled water and sports drinks are sold at Raves, often at inflated prices, to manage hyperthermia and dehydration. Also found are pacifiers to prevent involuntary teeth clenching, menthol nasal inhalers, surgical masks, chemical lights, and neon glow sticks to increase sensory perception and enhance the Rave experience.”

Talk about creature comforts. I’ve never seen one of these so called ‘cool down rooms before – promoter level 9000?:

“Cool down rooms are provided, usually at a cost, as a place to cool off due to increased body temperature of the drug user.”

Gees, the FBI sure do have there finger on the pulse, don’t they!

Parents be like

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Source: FBI

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