Lately the popularity of ‘list’ based articles has spread through the journalistic masses like a crabs epidemic at Schoolies on the Gold Coast. I guess we constantly get sucked into the point form formula because it allows us to consume much more on much less (basically Cliff Notes news), however it’s also proven itself as the most effective means of catalysing the notorious emotional vitriol of dissenting users, and often the comments are even better than the article itself. As list after repetitious list of ‘what’s hot right now’ proliferate the mainstream media, it’s refreshing when we come across something that breaks through and downright dumps on the tedium. Out with the suck-ups, and in with the cynics. Self confessed old mate Walmer (of Walmer Convenience) has given us the decisive

Top Worst Acts in EDM as Decided by a 34 Year Old Man

He begins by colouring the necessary context for his opinions;

I’m fucking 34 years old. To some of you that is mad old. You’re like “that dude is gonna die soon”. Or you’re like “wow, are you a parent?”. Neither apply.

Yes, he’s more old man sitting on the porch shaking his brittle fist at the goddamn kids on his lawn, rather than a fist-pumper at the club… but honestly, you don’t have to agree with him to appreciate his point of view. Perhaps I’m jaded; the further through the article I got, the more I began to believe this was written by my similarly cynical future husband, but you can’t deny the funnies, and Walmer delivers in spades. After all, he’s asking the tough questions that’s on all our minds…

When did electronic music become the drivel that seems to have been made by a committee of girls that work at the front desk of an office who took weak MDMA?

It’s not so often we find something truly ‘lol-worthy’ in the literal sense, so treat yourself to one last sneaky list for the day… perhaps this list might be the list to finally cure your closet Buzzfeed list addiction. Did I say list?

Top Worst Acts in EDM as Decided by a 34 Year Old Man