After months of research that saw blood, sweat and tears working alongside the FBI, Stoney Roads is that* much closer to figuring out who mysterious trap producer UZ is.

Following a cross checking with local secret Australian agency ASIO, Stoney Roads have condensed the list to a select number of suspects before his Sydney show at the Hi-Fi in Sydney this Friday.

Here’s who we narrowed it down to!

Hulk Hogan

A fall out from the wrestling scene and an affair with a younger woman has driven Hulk into the trap. We suspect he’s substituted his signature finishing move ‘the leg drop’ with some heavy trap drops instead. Since the affair, his ‘brotha’ has disowned him and his ‘damn sooooon’ has taken him under his wings. The FBI continue to keep close tabs.

Deadmau5

What do mice like? Cheese. Where do mice get cheese? From that real trap shit. Deadmau5 is in fact already dead and risen as UZ. Any Deadmau5 show you goto now is in fact a mirage and elaborate plot to distract you from figuring out who UZ is.

Flume

Why? Don’t be stupid. He’s always a suspect.

This Windows 95 computer

19 years on and this computer refuses to die! Rather, mutating into the world’s slowest crunching processor. With ultra slow loading times came the sounds of what could be UZ’s real trap shit and through that came the fame. It is said, the man behind this computer only has to open the latest version of Adobe Illustrator which takes approximately 90 minute which by no coincidence is the length of a UZ set.

*disclaimer – we are not that much closer to figuring out who UZ is but his music is awesome so go watch him at the Hi-Fi this Friday in Sydney. Other shows for the tour include Biscuit Factory in Brisbane on Saturday, Perth at Villa on the 22nd and Hi-Fi in Melbourne on the 23nd.