I don’t know about you, but the last time I had to crap at a festival, I had a shit time. It was day three of a doof and the portable toilets smelled like (and resembled) Satan’s ballsack. Desperately flailing around, I finally decided to desperately go twosies in a bush, which I later found out was the sleeping spot of a rather stoned gentleman named Jethro, sorry bro.

Looking to the future though, not all festival defecation experiences have to resemble mine. Indeed, the good people over at The Glastonbury festival have been making sure of it. As if the punters attending didn’t have enough to get excited about – this year festival organisers have spent in excess of £600,000 on odourless ‘super-loos’.

The ‘super-loos’ in question feature new ‘long-drop’ technology, which see the droppings of festival goers disappear into the abyss – only to help fertilise the surrounding farmlands. Naw!

According to owner of the festival farm, Michael Eavis, the welcomed technology comes along way from the crappers of the 70s when he first let his dairy farm open to hippy-rockers.

“We’re always improving stuff but the great thing for me, funnily enough, is the loos,”, the 78-year-old told The Independent.

“There’s no smell, a huge capacity – it’s a fantastic achievement. It’s fundamentally a huge improvement.”

The innovative and sustainable new technology also utilises waste from showers and washing up. Lets just hope that not too much of the waste is digested pinger matter – who knows what could happen if that seeped into the grass of a dairy farm…

Regardless, it’s an stellar idea and we hope that the incredible crappers will make it to other festivals around the world.

Not to be mistaken as anything but the festival of $wag however, Glastonbury attendees will also be treated to free mobile-phone charging, 4G coverage and cash-free food vendors. Motherfuckers.

[via The Independent]