The following is the first of a group of recounts from different people who have, by way of trial, luck or misfortune ended up doing the nasty with members of the elite electronic sphere. For obvious reasons we cannot disclose the names of either party but identities have been verified.

As told to Izzy Combs.

“I cant even remember how I got to be backstage at that damn festival. I remember being in the crowd in the afternoon and then my friend who is a promoter at this club came and found me with a backstage pass – haha, I’m actually sounding like a groupie already. I swear I didn’t mean to be!

“After catching a few drinks out of the bar my buddies and I figured we’d check out the backstage area. I had never been backstage before and it was awesome. There were pool tables, a movie screen and a fully stocked buffet which I may or may not have seriously enjoyed…

“I ran into him by chance when I was heading to the bathroom, when I had the classic awkward, ‘Hey you’re that guy from…’ moment. I feel like he had the compulsion to roll his eyes but he didn’t. We chatted for a little while then the guy he plays with caught up with him. He asked if me and my mates wanted to check out one of the bands that was coming up and I said sure…

“We stood in the crowd and drank beers we had taken from backstage. He told me that he was up on the stage before and asked if I had seen him. I awkwardly hadn’t but I had wanted to, so I just lied [laughs], I guess he’ll never know. He offered me a cigarette and I took it and we chatted for ages despite the sweaty ravers dancing around us.

“Eventually we said bye and left – both feeling pretty drunk by then, he told me he was playing at a club later and invited me along. I went back to the festival grounds and then got on a bus home. My friends wanted to see this other guy at a club gig but I may have done a little persuading and coerced them to come and see him…

“Walking into the club, my dutch courage (and I’ll be honest I’d had some drugs) saw me walk straight up to the DJ booth. ‘THAT’S MY FRIEND’ I yelled to the security guard, and surprisingly he let me straight in. When I got in there he took my hand and started doing this awkward dancing with me/trying to DJ move which was pretty adorable. He kissed me in front of the crowd with a hand still on the turntable and fuck, who am I kidding, it was awesome…

“After their set the owners of the club took us into the basement – sounds suspicious but it was ok – and we all had some drinks. He and I sat in a corner and made out and talked about stupid shit. Then he asked me back to his hotel room. Don’t judge me on this but like, it wasn’t even a decision [laughs]. We were out the door in a second.

“I won’t give you the gritty details [eds note. I definitely grilled for the gritty details], but lets say that I guess those musician hands served him well. We must have gone at it for about two hours, despite the fact that we had both been so fried. He told me afterwards that because of the tour it had been a long time since his last time… He kept saying that I was awesome – and he apologised for putting on weight over the tour [laughs]. He’s a small guy.

“We spooned all night and the next morning we woke up in the hotel room and hung out. We decided that we would go out and spend the day together – I think that we were going to take a ferry ride or something – before his manager called and told him that their flight to New York had been bumped up and he had to go. We went down to the foyer together and the guy he plays with gave me the biggest eyebrow raise ever. I definitely felt like a groupie at that moment.

“I thought I’d never hear from him again but he messaged me later that day, thanking me for a great time. I didn’t know how to reply so I just shoved some emoji in a message to disorient him. I’ve thought about messaging him again but he’s really famous now and I’m worried he’ll just remember me as the chick who was really wasted…

“Ah well, worth it.