Britain’s Telegraph epically fails at getting into Berghain

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Britain’s Telegraph epically fails at getting into Berghain

Unsurprisingly to all apart from himself, a nerdy white British journo from The Telegraph has hectically failed at getting into Berlin nightclub Berghain, despite wearing his best outfit.

In an attempt to bring some Euro cool back to the struggling tabloid, travel writer Scott Campbell made the trip to the music capital with high hopes to have a raver night for one, assuming he would get into the infamous party palace – which he did not.

After the cringey introduction of the Berghain nightclub app (oh god, internet), and the complete ban on photography only adding to the mystery and intrigue of the nightclub. With no VIP areas or lists, the admitted patrons seemed to be curated at random, with many clubbing punters having tried and failed to enter at the hands of terrible advice.

Campbell is easily one of these;

With the advice that I should wear black in mind, I donned my finest dark polo shirt, jeans and a nondescript jacket and set off. Despite the fact that temperatures in Berlin were dropping below 0C, I wore a rather thin jacket in the name of not appearing too showy with a more wintry number. After all, sacrifices must be made.

A sacrifice wasted, as Campbell was DE-NIED.

As I explained that I couldn’t understand another guard helpfully translated: “Sorry, you’re not getting in.” Why, I asked? “Because we decided”. It was hard to argue with logic like that.

Or it could’ve been because you’re a strange white dude trying to get into a club on your own wearing a ‘nondescript jacket’ Mr. Chumpy?

Campbell also sought out the advice of (self-proclaimed?) ‘Berghain veteran’ John O’Caellaigh. Whilst we’re not sure if a repeat visitor technically makes one a veteran, Caellaigh offers up some wisdom-ous gems such as, ‘speak German‘, ‘Convince the bouncers you’re there to see a specific DJ rather than to gawk at clubbers’ and ‘don’t dress as though you’re on a night on the West End’. Solid stuff.

Naturally we assume that the more journos and the like that are denied from Berghain only makes it more elusive and popular. One of the biggest clubs in the world right now, the hype continues to grow around what is – door policy aside – undisputedly the home of groundbreaking music. Funnily enough, this is not a massive talking point for Campbell, who without getting in and knowing seemingly nothing about the club at all, writes up a fail worthy of Britain’s struggling newspapers.

We’ll leave you with this muse…

Is it worth the hassle? If you enjoy clubbing, definitely. Berghain is an immense, industrial space with an exceptional sound system and unparalleled acoustics; despite, or perhaps because of, the stringent door policy, the crowd is one of the most diverse and enthusiastic you’ll find anywhere; and, with parties regularly running for longer than 24 hours, there’s no other major venue in Europe that matches its stamina.

A strange paragraph which begs the question…Um, how would you know dude?

[via The Telegraph]

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