So you’ve been to your fair share of clubs, even a festival or two, but you want the unreachable. Behind the deck throne is the elite green room of Dj royalty: the back stage. And there you are, dripping with sweat alongside a group of 16 year olds wearing neon backpacks and multicolor lightshow gloves. You know every track the Dj is spinning…you even know his manager’s dog’s name. You want to be on the inside looking out. The only thing stopping you are the fifteen giants strategically positioned around the stage whose jerseys bear the dreaded barrier to your precious idol: ‘Security’.

Through this article we will let you in on our proven guidelines to partying like Dada Life – even though at the end of the night you’ll head back to your parents basement a.k.a. your ‘studio.’  We will also give you our tested recommendations to partying behind the scenes and on center stage.

Just remember, you didn’t hear it from us.

PRE-PARTY:

Before you head to the party, always keep in mind the end goal and dress to match that crowd. Rave gear and ‘vintage’ summer camp shirts will stick out like a sore thumb, even to the inexperienced bouncer.

Dress to impress in the trendy sense of the word. Not too fancy, but just enough that you swoop by the dress code nazi’s radar. A local clothing line, label, or artist tee can help make sure you look like one of usual suspects, and may lead to promising connections. Business cards always help – some bouncers are even persuaded by that manufactured tale of how your remix is about to be played and you need to get up there to support. Don’t push it, but getting involved in the industry gives you a foot in the door.

ON SITE SCOUTING:

Your attack must be strategically planned and well thought out. Before strolling up and making a complete fool of yourself, scope out the competition. How guarded is the door to backstage? Does the bouncer ever leave his post? Make sure to keep a low profile. After those three warmup shots and joint pre-game toke, the security’s senses are much better than yours. If they see you lingering around the outskirts, you don’t belong inside.

YOU’RE IN – THE GAME PLAN: 

So once you’ve scouted your opponent develop a plan. A carefully developed plan of attack must be devised with no chance of failure. That 300 pound EDM hater was specifically told not to let people like you enter his domain. Before the approach, make sure to try all sure bets. Search out any promoters, Djs, even bartenders who might have the slightest idea who you are. That coat check girl you met at the grocery store may be able to hook it up.

Know the promotion and Dj staff. Put those countless hours browsing Facebook on your Mom’s MacBook to use. Make them believe they know you – sometimes a belated birthday or compliment on their new car is all you need for an in. With Facebook you DO know them – we’re all friends here aren’t we?

Follow the photogs. They spent countless hours doing the same thing you’re doing just to get a press pass. Watch and learn young Jedi, the masterful photog gets a picture of the Skrillex champagne shower, and chugs the rest of the bottle afterwards.

TAKE A DELICATE APPROACH:

Be cool. Before convincing Security you should be on stage, convince yourself. Act like it’s normal as you walk toward the gates. Flash your arm and hope whatever color wristband you picked up off the ground doesn’t fall off. If questioned, do your best, but don’t overdo it. No need to get in a brawl and ruin all further chances. Most of the people back there are working or groupies, and you don’t want to seem like the latter. If rejected, finish with something like, “Ok I’ll be back with the promoter, (insert name from Facebook here).” You always want to keep your options open, and they will remember the jackass. And as always, if you fail, try, try again. There are multiple entrances and further reconnaissance will pay off. Then once you’re finally IN, the real fun begins.

FITTING IN ONCE YOU’RE IN: 

Once you’re in, any false move can set off the alarms. One grumpy tour manager or overzealous security guard could toss you right back into the pit where you DON’T belong. Make small talk, meet people, and act like this is another day at the office. Don’t pass out stickers or try to get the headliner to listen to your latest Traktor mix – this is a fast track to unveiling your general admission ticket. Play it cool on stage, because you watch two thousand people dance in front of you every weekend, what else is new?

Wait for it and your moment will come. Once Diplo walks your way, don’t go all fanboy on him. Chat about his set, travels, killer jet lag, and maybe throw in how your Major Lazer bootleg got a great response at your local gigs. Big Djs aren’t going to support your spam, they are gonna play their homies’ tracks.

PARTY HARD:

After the headliner takes the decks most events transform from business to pleasure. Mission accomplished: now you’re in, so enjoy it! Feel free to hit the blunt, or even grab a drink from the artists’ bar. Just don’t overstay your welcome and watch for signs of suspicion. The last person you want to be is ‘that guy’ who no one knows drinking all the booze. Don’t get super hammered and trip over the master sound. If you get caught, you didn’t hear this from us.